EPIC FAIL that will secure me the Worst Mother of the Year Award 2011

You know it’s going to be a rough week when you get a call from school at 9AM on a Monday morning.  I am pretty sure the entire teacher staff is now weary of having the Leader children in their classes in the coming years….OK maybe I am getting ahead of myself…let me fill you in on my morning.

First I would like to say that if you ever think to yourself, there is NO WAY these things really happen in her life……she has got to be making this up….I would like you to contact Mimi for verification of this story as she was kind enough to come over this morning to try to teach me how to use a sewing machine and witnessed this entire event.  Ok now let’s start at the beginning…..

We woke up this morning quite early {Itty Bitty is still not sleeping thru the night so I seem to get up earlier and earlier each day}.  I had recently sent out an invite for the Kindergarten Moms {the princesses class} to come over for a MNO and most thought I was also inviting the kids for a weeknight party @ my house at 8PM…so I needed to send out a clarification e-mail that is was a Mom’s only night {this isn’t the EPIC FAIL….this is just a typical everyday fail….}.  When the little guy came into the office while I was typing he asked how many days till his birthday and I suddenly realized it was tomorrow.  SERIOUSLY?!  How could I forget my firstborn’s birthday day?  How is that possible?

I had to go into school this morning to speak with his teacher {usually you do this a week b/4 the actual day but OBVIOUSLY I was late}.  On the way into school, the little guy told Mrs. Ryan how excited he was that his birthday was tomorrow.  I told her how I forgot.  She smiled {Mrs. Ryan and I are pretty tight, she expects this kind of thing from me…hopefully his teacher would be just as good}.  I came clean immediately {honestly is the best policy in my book} and admitted that I had forgotten his birthday was tomorrow and that I know I am so late but would it be possible to bring in cupcakes so he could celebrate.  His teacher {God Bless her} was so sweet, said it was not a problem and they’d be happy to have a little celebration for him.  I promised to run out this afternoon to get supplies and get them done tonight.

Soon after I got home, Mimi arrived, sewing machine in hand, ready to teach me how to get my sewing on!  Now before we were even able to do that  I had to:

• change Itty Bitty’s diaper
• nurse Itty Bitty
• Show Mimi the new TV room and Kitchen
• Discuss said TV room decor and ask for tips
• put Itty Bitty to bed
• let The Destroyer play angry birds on my laptop
• move The Destroyer to the office computer and NickJr

As we were FINALLY getting started I walked by the refrigerator calendar and noticed tomorrow’s date…the 11th of October.  The little guy’s birthday is on the 12th.  His birthday isn’t till Wednesday.  I froze.  I told Mimi the entire story of this morning.  Feeling bad about forgetting, telling Mrs. Ryan, apologizing to his teacher for being late…..she already HAS to think I am CRAZY for not remembering now I have to go in at the end of the day and tell her not only did I forget I actually got the date WRONG……yup, I’m good like that.

Not to waste anymore of Mimi’s time we {after a really good laugh} we got to work.  I learned how to thread the bobbin and what to do when the thread broke, how to drop the needle, etc.  So when the phone rang 10 minutes later and the school ID was on the phone I answered without a thought in my head…..that was until I heard.  “Hi Mrs. Leader this is {insert the little guys teacher’s name here}.”  I almost peed my pants right there.  I mean seriously?!  She KNOWS ALREADY!  I laughed out loud {much like right now as I sit here typing this cracking up}.

The little guy’s teacher could hardly control her laughter as she explained that the little guy was the head of the calendar for the week and while telling everyone the correct date to put into their copybooks stopped cold and explained that the calendar was WRONG and everyone should stop writing.  In front of the ENTIRE class he said his mother told him his birthday was tomorrow and since his birthday is the 12th NOT the 11th, the CALENDAR was obviously wrong.  She said she asked him to sit down and for the kids to say a prayer.  She stepped out into the hallway so she could release the laughter she could barely control.  She said in all her years of teaching she has NEVER had a child question the calendar.  She called just to be sure that his birthday wasn’t really the 11th and he was possibly confused.  But the laughter in her voice confirmed to me that she already knew the answer to her own question.

Did I say honesty is the best policy?  Then laughter is the best medicine b/c I could hardly speak as I told her that it was not the little guy but me {I?…yes, English was one of my majors in college, don’t judge me, I’ve been home with 4 kids for 8 years} who messed up {AGAIN?!!}.  I am pretty sure it took the both of us a full minute to get ourselves under control and stop laughing.  His teacher said she had to wait till the kids went to gym today to call me for fear of laughing again in front of the kids.  I told her to feel free to share this story with the rest of the teachers at lunch as I am sure they could use a good laugh on a Monday.

I am also pretty sure it took Mimi and I another few minutes to collect ourselves after I hung up the phone as I had to fill her in on what the little guys teacher said.  I tell you this to hopefully brighten your Monday and to make you feel better about the AMAZING mom that you are!  B/c I am pretty positive that NONE of you will have to have an awkward conversation with your 7 soon to be 8 YO son this afternoon at pickup about why Mommy has lost her mind.  Wish me luck!