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EPIC FAIL that will secure me the Worst Mother of the Year Award 2011

You know it’s going to be a rough week when you get a call from school at 9AM on a Monday morning.  I am pretty sure the entire teacher staff is now weary of having the Leader children in their classes in the coming years….OK maybe I am getting ahead of myself…let me fill you in on my morning.

First I would like to say that if you ever think to yourself, there is NO WAY these things really happen in her life……she has got to be making this up….I would like you to contact Mimi for verification of this story as she was kind enough to come over this morning to try to teach me how to use a sewing machine and witnessed this entire event.  Ok now let’s start at the beginning…..

We woke up this morning quite early {Itty Bitty is still not sleeping thru the night so I seem to get up earlier and earlier each day}.  I had recently sent out an invite for the Kindergarten Moms {the princesses class} to come over for a MNO and most thought I was also inviting the kids for a weeknight party @ my house at 8PM…so I needed to send out a clarification e-mail that is was a Mom’s only night {this isn’t the EPIC FAIL….this is just a typical everyday fail….}.  When the little guy came into the office while I was typing he asked how many days till his birthday and I suddenly realized it was tomorrow.  SERIOUSLY?!  How could I forget my firstborn’s birthday day?  How is that possible?

I had to go into school this morning to speak with his teacher {usually you do this a week b/4 the actual day but OBVIOUSLY I was late}.  On the way into school, the little guy told Mrs. Ryan how excited he was that his birthday was tomorrow.  I told her how I forgot.  She smiled {Mrs. Ryan and I are pretty tight, she expects this kind of thing from me…hopefully his teacher would be just as good}.  I came clean immediately {honestly is the best policy in my book} and admitted that I had forgotten his birthday was tomorrow and that I know I am so late but would it be possible to bring in cupcakes so he could celebrate.  His teacher {God Bless her} was so sweet, said it was not a problem and they’d be happy to have a little celebration for him.  I promised to run out this afternoon to get supplies and get them done tonight.

Soon after I got home, Mimi arrived, sewing machine in hand, ready to teach me how to get my sewing on!  Now before we were even able to do that  I had to:

  • change Itty Bitty’s diaper
  • nurse Itty Bitty
  • Show Mimi the new TV room and Kitchen
  • Discuss said TV room decor and ask for tips
  • put Itty Bitty to bed
  • let The Destroyer play angry birds on my laptop
  • move The Destroyer to the office computer and NickJr

As we were FINALLY getting started I walked by the refrigerator calendar and noticed tomorrow’s date…the 11th of October.  The little guy’s birthday is on the 12th.  His birthday isn’t till Wednesday.  I froze.  I told Mimi the entire story of this morning.  Feeling bad about forgetting, telling Mrs. Ryan, apologizing to his teacher for being late…..she already HAS to think I am CRAZY for not remembering now I have to go in at the end of the day and tell her not only did I forget I actually got the date WRONG……yup, I’m good like that.

Not to waste anymore of Mimi’s time we {after a really good laugh} we got to work.  I learned how to thread the bobbin and what to do when the thread broke, how to drop the needle, etc.  So when the phone rang 10 minutes later and the school ID was on the phone I answered without a thought in my head…..that was until I heard.  “Hi Mrs. Leader this is {insert the little guys teacher’s name here}.”  I almost peed my pants right there.  I mean seriously?!  She KNOWS ALREADY!  I laughed out loud {much like right now as I sit here typing this cracking up}.

The little guy’s teacher could hardly control her laughter as she explained that the little guy was the head of the calendar for the week and while telling everyone the correct date to put into their copybooks stopped cold and explained that the calendar was WRONG and everyone should stop writing.  In front of the ENTIRE class he said his mother told him his birthday was tomorrow and since his birthday is the 12th NOT the 11th, the CALENDAR was obviously wrong.  She said she asked him to sit down and for the kids to say a prayer.  She stepped out into the hallway so she could release the laughter she could barely control.  She said in all her years of teaching she has NEVER had a child question the calendar.  She called just to be sure that his birthday wasn’t really the 11th and he was possibly confused.  But the laughter in her voice confirmed to me that she already knew the answer to her own question.

Did I say honesty is the best policy?  Then laughter is the best medicine b/c I could hardly speak as I told her that it was not the little guy but me {I?…yes, English was one of my majors in college, don’t judge me, I’ve been home with 4 kids for 8 years} who messed up {AGAIN?!!}.  I am pretty sure it took the both of us a full minute to get ourselves under control and stop laughing.  His teacher said she had to wait till the kids went to gym today to call me for fear of laughing again in front of the kids.  I told her to feel free to share this story with the rest of the teachers at lunch as I am sure they could use a good laugh on a Monday.

I am also pretty sure it took Mimi and I another few minutes to collect ourselves after I hung up the phone as I had to fill her in on what the little guys teacher said.  I tell you this to hopefully brighten your Monday and to make you feel better about the AMAZING mom that you are!  B/c I am pretty positive that NONE of you will have to have an awkward conversation with your 7 soon to be 8 YO son this afternoon at pickup about why Mommy has lost her mind.  Wish me luck!


Do you allow porn in your home?

I’m pretty sure this is the big guy’s. Somedays I feel bad that he’s married to the girl who can’t clean or even cook grilled cheese…….must be such a dissappointment, hahahahaha

The smoke alarms work

I am no longer allowed to use the stove top. I am now down to the microwave and the fridge…..seriously?! How can you mess up grilled cheese? I need help!

Stack Rescue Camp String Soccer Car Escape

I always refer to my life as a sitcom…mostly b/c I can’t imagine these things are actually happening.  Then I realize these things ALWAYS happen and  I should just accept that this IS our normal.  So here’s yesterday’s wrap up:

  1. 6Am Hide and Seek bathroom redecorating project complete
  2. Received {off duty} Police escort to drop off rescued newborn bunnies {we found them in our yard and they were almost swept away in flood water, it was CRAZY}
  3. The little guy created a T-shirt line with the tag line ~ I save bunnies.  I’m awesome! ~ the officer is awaiting his delivery
  4. 22 kids, 6 moms, an exercise treasure hunt, homemade pizza and butterfly craft
  5. Ambused the big guy with silly string on the front lawn {the kids LOVE doing this}
  6. The destroyers 1st soccer practice, she came downstairs wearing the little guys Under Armour and cup.
  7. The little guy managed to drop his soccer ball out the window of the car during rush hour on the way to soccer practice
  8. The big guy was able to circle back and find it in less than 2 minutes {seriously AMAZING!}

Ok so this is a normal day at my house.  Is this a normal day at yours?

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21 kids and 7 moms in 1 house…why not?

Did I ever tell you about Camp Leader?  No?  I’m not exactly sure why not, it is an AWESOME camp {nothing like patting myself on the back} that we started this summer for the kids to be able to get together with their friends once a week and do all kinds of fun things.  It is an open door policy, so all the moms in our group let me know if they can make it that week and we {me and my kids} figure out what we are going to do that week.  So far we’ve made a whole bunch of cool stuff.  Today is our last camp and we are having a fitness treasure hunt.  Can’t wait to see how it turns out!

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Sorry for the short post today but with the bunny episode {if you don’t already know, I’ll fill you in tomorrow} we have got to get moving.  We are off to Schulikill Center to drop them off and see if we can get these new little guys a fresh new start.  Will be sure to post the story and pics tomorrow.  Hey, sometimes in your 100 days you accomplish something that isn’t on the original list.  It’s amazing how important things not on the list become top priority.



Best Baking Comeback of All Time

….Do you think I’m overselling this?  You might want to look back and remember this Epic Baking Fail.  Pretty bad right?  I am a get over it and move forward kind of girl {with 4 children plotting against you each night, believe me it’s the only way to be.}  So I ran into the Acme the other day {no I was NOT grocery shopping, the big guy does that, I was renting a movie from Redbox} and thought to myself, I should totally try to do that cinnamon roll recipe again, I mean how could it possibly be any worst than what I already did?  With a sense of fearlessness {some might call it being a glutton for punishment, I like to think otherwise}, I scooped up Acme Rolls {$0.59, I got 4 packs, JIC} and I was on my way home.

I woke up this morning optimistic {I made a cake yesterday and it was GOOOOOD and no I can’t share my BC recipe} so I decided to enlist the troops for a little help.  Also, if this all went south, I could totally blame the little guy, the princess and the destroyer.  Yes, I would totally do that.  If they think it’s OK to throw me under the bus with their father, I can do the same!  Anyway the kids did a great job each doing one and I finished the rest.  Here are the changes I made and one’s I will make the next time:

  1. Put the biscuits in the freezer for 5 minutes b/4 you start.  It really helps with the kids, they are colder and easier to work with.
  2. Use less butter {I know I heart butter too} but you really only need a little bit.  I am thinking this is why our cinnamon and brown sugar keeps escaping from our rolls.
  3. Set the temp at 325 degrees.  My girlfriend Capri {her nickname…everyone has a nickname.  Probably why I am always forgetting real names} said this would really help, IT DID!
  4. Roll the biscuits tight.  I didn’t the first time and this time I made sure they were pretty tight, I think it made a big difference.
  5. Put them back in the fridge for 5 minutes b/4 you cut them.  Easy to cut and move onto greased backing sheet.
  6. Cut them into 4’s.  6 were way to small and they got crispy pretty fast.  4’s stayed nice, soft and gooey.
  7. I turned the pan at 5 minutes and again after another 5 minutes.  I pulled them out after 12 minutes and let rest for 3 {do #8 first} minutes.  So that’s 12 minutes of cooking and 3 minutes of resting, 15 minutes TOTAL.
  8. Put the buns in a bowl and drizzle the topping {1 cup confectioners sugar and 5 tablespoons of heavy cream} and mix carefully.  Let rest 3 minutes.
  9. Give everyone a few on their plate and put the rest away…or else your big guy will come home from picking up a door jamb at Home Dept and the only thing he’ll find is a sink full of dishes.

So glad I decided to give this a second try.  I will absolutely make these again and cut the butter down and see how that works.  have you ever had a recipe that was supposed to be easy and you failed like me?  I’d love to hear about it.  Did you try again?  How did it turn out?  Let me know, it may be one I can add to my list.



Epic fail and other things….

So it’s been established that I can’t cook, right?  I mean is there a soul out there that is rooting for me to come from behind and really surprise you with a new kitchen skill or talent?  Sorry to disappoint but I tried.  Last night I had a couple of girls over to help plan our last kids camp {have I discussed this yet?  22 kids, 7 moms, my house every Monday….it’s epic! anyway….} and we decided on a treasure hunt.  So fun!

We searched Pintrest for some fun ideas and settled on this one.  A fabulously fit treasure hunt.  I love the idea of sneaking fitness into a fun game for the kids.  Every little bit helps.  Anywho…..

I also decided to use a few recipes from Pintrest to make food for the moms while we decided what to do with the kids for camp.  Since the girls make fun of me for “always doing everything BIG”, I decided to make mini foods {note the big guy was SO not into the mini foods, ask the girls} and found this great brownie recipe and this itty bitty cinnamon bite recipe.  I mean who doesn’t want to eat this?  So cute right?

So let’s be honest, the Pintrest brownies were from scratch, so not happening here, so I decided to go out on a ledge and use my standard BC recipe {Please don’t ask, it’s a family secret} and skip the frosting {too sweet}.  I used my mini muffin pan and I think these came out pretty well.  The big guy, the kids and my girlfriends are all alive…so I take that as a win.  The itty bitty cinnamon bits……

I followed the recipe EXACTLY.  I asked the big guy to get the same rolls they used when he went grocery shopping {What you mean your big guy doesn’t go grocery shopping?  I haven’t been in a grocery store in years……….you really need your big guy to step up his game!}.  I had the computer right next to me while I followed each step.  I was giddy with anticipation, they looked so good on the blog, I couldn’t wait for these to be done.

The recipe said they should be in the oven at 350 for 16-20 minutes.  BIG MISTAKE!!!!!  I only left them in for 13 minutes and pulled them b/c most of them broke open and all the fabulous brown sugar and cinnamon escaped {like inmates from a high security prison} from each bun.  Hoping they could be saved, we quickly took them out of the pan {sorry no pics} and put them on the plate.  I was hoping for a soft and warm gooey taste…what did I get?  The bun part {I’m hoping that what that was…}was hard as a rock.  The brown sugar, butter and cinnamon mixture caramelized into a hard candy like substance {on a positive note, I can now make candy ~ WOO HOO!}.  Seriously?  I followed all the directions, I did it EXACTLY the way it said to do it {except the time but if it was this bad when I pulled it out at 13 minutes, could you imagine it at 16-20 minutes?…I’d have to call the fire department………again} and this is what happens.  This is why I HATE to cook.  I spent all this time and $ {that’s $4.50 I’ll never get back} and it was for nothing, except helping me feel worse about my skills in the kitchen {is that even possible}?. We are having people over Saturday night……I wonder if they will cancel when the read this since I am supposed to cook again……

On a different note, I was able to clean out the pantry and purge all the bad food and get the pantry organized.  I need to buy some bins {$1 store here I come} but so far so good, it is no longer a disaster area and I can actually see what is in there….I wonder how long it will last?

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I still hope Pintrest will be my friend…we seem to be getting off to a rocky start but I am willing to overlook the initial rocky “getting to know you phase” and keeping my fingers crossed for a bright future.



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